Shrinking to Grow: A recap of my juice cleanse

  My 7-day juice cleanse officially ended on Sunday evening.  I simply could not write about it then...or the next day or the next.  Too strung out, emotional and depleted...it would not have been pretty and one of you might’ve sent the paddy wagon around for me.  Today, though, after two full days of nourishment (I’ll get to the details on that later), I am clear-minded and grounded and ready to spill the beans...or the juice, if you will.

Much of what I want to write about concerns the spiritual/emotional/mental goals and outcomes of the cleanse for me personally....but since a lot of my friends are serious athletes and cerebral types, I will first give the down and dirty details for those of you who are less touchy-feely than others.

Almost everyone we’ve chatted with about our cleanse was most interested in the weight loss aspect.  In seven days, I lost exactly 10 pounds; Michael lost 15.  So, in that respect, a juice cleanse certainly works for very rapid dropping of pounds.  That’s not to say it’s necessarily the best way to drop weight, but most of you don’t want to hear that, right?  For the first day and a half of our cleanse, we drank two 20-ounce juices and some salad/veggies.  After that, it was simply three 20-ounce juices per day straight through the remainder of the week plus as much water as we could literally stand to drink.  Don’t misunderstand the term “juice” as it applies to cleansing, folks.  This ain’t no ordinary juice!  Our gurus and guides (and therapists!) for our cleanse were the fabulous couple who own Mojo Health Bar on Rte 77 in Cape Elizabeth.  Philip and Jacqueline know what they’re doing and that was extremely important to us.  We put our health in their hands and they prepared our juices fresh daily, altering the mix according to our feedback (i.e. complaints about lack of energy, headaches, body aches, depression...and so on).  They have access to a steady supply of the best variety of vegetables and fruits and that, backed by their years of knowledge in food health and wellness, put us in the best of hands.  

What’s in the juice?  Lots of stuff.  On day one, it tasted great and went down easily.  As the week wore on, I could barely get it down, so sick was I of beets and kale and spinach and celery and carrots and ginger and....  You get the picture.  Sometimes when I’d see the color of my next 20-ouncer, I’d cringe.  “Ugh...it’s green.  That means kale!”  But I survived.  It was my only source of nutrition and I had to get it into me.  We’d go to Mojo and watch them shove whole carrots and apples and beets into the juicer, loads and loads of them, and then watch the thin stream of juice from those veggies and fruits piss out into the waiting pitcher...amazed at the quantity necessary to get that quality, raw juice for us.  Occasionally we’d also have a wheat grass shot (great for detoxifying your liver) or a ginger shot (for an energy boost) and the ratio of raw material to juice was again mystifying.  

How did we feel?  I was especially naive entering into this Juice Cleanse.  I’d done no research and had just some minimal conversation with my acquaintance who’d walked the road ahead of us.  That was enough for me: I just wanted to do it and get through it and live to tell the story.  In hindsight, that sort of caused some issues for me that could’ve been avoided.  The most important thing I learned is that you have to be very, very careful about how you use your energy.  I thought I could go to Bikram yoga like I normally would...so off I went on Tuesday night.  A 90-minute physically-grueling athletic endeavor in a 105 degree room is a lot to ask of yourself during a cleanse, even if it’s something you’ve done regularly for 8.5 years.  I still had energy from my pre-cleanse days and I used it all up on that one class.  I thought it actually helped me with my caffeine headaches and body aches, but honestly it depleted my reserves and left me very vulnerable.  I went again on Thursday night because I’m a bit driven (and stupid) and that is what might’ve put me over the edge.  For the remaining three days of the cleanse, I was just barely able to function.  I didn’t want to talk, move or even drink my juices.  I just wanted to sit in a chair wrapped in a blanket and wait for the end to come.  I wasn’t at all interested in eating again and wasn’t having fantasies of french fries and ice cream and pizza, but I was thinking about the smoothie I’d be able to have on Sunday and that’s really all I cared about.

If you are contemplating a juice cleanse, I’d highly recommend that you take a trip up to Mojo and visit with Jacqueline and/or Philip over a nice, healthy smoothie (my favorite is the Muscle XL with hemp protein powder).  They’ll be happy to enlighten you and certainly would love to make your juices for you if that would work for you.  There are also two other juice bars you could check out if you are nearer to the Portland area than Cape.  The Maine Squeeze on Moulton Street in the Old Port and Roost House of Juice on Free Street both offer juices and smoothies.  I have no idea if the staff are knowledgable so you’d have to ferret that out and fill in the gaps yourself by doing research into what juices you would need when and then ask for those specifically, perhaps.  My friend, Evan, made his own juices using a store-bought juicer and he’s had great success with his juice cleanses.  I don’t have access to him at the moment to find out all the details on that, but I imagine you could research recipes and advice on the net to prepare yourself if you go that route.  The local Farmers’ Markets could easily supply your fresh veggies and fruits, too.

Going forward, I am now on a mostly vegan/gluten free diet by choice.  No alcohol (easy for me), no coffee/caffeine (not so easy but I’m sticking to my guns), no added sugar (I can’t talk about that yet, too sad).  The juice cleanse prepared my body by detoxifying and resting my system.  Now I want to put only good things into it that will help me continue to lose a bit more weight, but more importantly provide the healthy fuel for my lifestyle and fitness goals.  So far, I’ve not had any real trouble making the switch, although I did need to add just a bit of lean red meat to my dinner last night to get my iron level back up.  Quinoa, soy yogurt, organic rice cakes, tons of fresh veggies and salads, nuts and fresh fruit are now my daily round.  I also add about 1/8 organic apple cider to my water intake, which according to Jacqueline helps my body use the nutrition in my diet more effectively.  It tastes good too.  I’ve been on a “regular” diet for 2.5 days now.  I had to ease into it slowly, with two smoothies and one small meal the first day, one smoothie and two small meals yesterday and so on.  Last night I went to yoga and had one of my best classes in as long as I can remember.  Pick up a 10-lb dumbbell and you’ll understand what I’m no longer having to carry through my postures.  I felt energized and lean and good.  I am still at the same weight I was on Sunday at the close of my juice cleanse.  Breakfast will include a Mojo juice (the Zinger...carrot/orange/ginger) in the 12-oz size for the next several weeks.  My goal is to lose another 4-5 lbs AND be strong and energetic in my work life as well as my athletic life.

So, all you cerebral, nuts & bolts folks and athletes who aren’t so interested in the inner workings of my mind and emotions are now dismissed, as that concludes the concrete stuff about the cleanse.  If you want to stay on board, you’ve been forewarned - it’s gonna get deep from here on out.

Shrinking to Grow.  That’s been the theme song accompanying all the moves and steps in my life for quite some time now.  Doing more with less.  Taking up less space.  Getting rid of superfluous junk.  Simplifying.  Shutting up and listening.  Getting down to what’s really important.  Tuning in.  Being Here Now.  My juice cleanse is a variation on that theme.  It’s all connected, I think.  Everything....EVERYTHING happens for a reason and there is a divine presence behind it all, orchestrating the music of our lives.  We are all just players...the world is the stage.  I know, I know....it all sounds so touchy-feely and mystical, right?  Welcome to my world.  Why hide the truth of who I am?  I am becoming the person I’ve wanted to be for so very long.  I am an introvert by nature...surprise, surprise.  I love connecting with you all in THIS way, through my writing and photography and art but the rest has been difficult.  Being “in the world” has been painful in many ways, and these attempts over the last many years to step away, simplify my life and make it honorable, to figure out who I am and what I want, have been awkward and uncoordinated but I’m on the road and feeling fine (today).  My camera is a great best friend and companion. 

With regard to this cleanse, I chose to jump in because I have been deeply unhappy in my body and in my life lately.  My choices in terms of food and drink wreak of addiction and mindless thinking.  It’s easier to reach for the fast food and junk than to mindfully feed myself and fuel my body.  I’d come to the end of the road with all that and wanted to step away for a week and detox not only my body but also my behavior and choices.  Not having to make food choices for a solid week gave me time to think about how automatic and reactive my behavior had become, how out of control and spiraling I’d been feeling.  Not cool at all.  And I was suffering for it.  Self-esteem has always, always been hard won for me, and here I was setting myself up to feel badly about “me” in so many ways.  My food habits just didn’t fit with my definition of myself, my goals, my values....so I stepped away for a week and drank only juice.  I was shrinking to grow.  To me, that means I was losing weight, yes, but also losing addictive behavior, resetting the clock if you will.  I was giving myself a jump start.  

After a week of not eating, I’m ten pounds thinner and I have a new chance to take better care of my temple, my body.  It was gruelingly hard at times but I never considered quitting or giving up.  I never wavered from my desire to be clean, to live cleaner and healthier.  I am now addiction-free and in recovery!  It’s a whole new world....  I start my day with a cup of hot water to warm me up (I was cold every day during the cleanse) while I write in my journal.  I’m doing the 12-week creativity-sparking program called “The Artist’s Way” with a trusted friend across the miles (she’s in VA) and finding my creative energy is on fire and burning for expression.    I am contemplating (and executing) many life changes to move boldly toward a more connected, meaningful life for myself.  This cleanse was the spark that got me back on track.  And I am hanging on through all the grieving that goes along with the cleanse and with getting myself in order.  It’s been a rough, rough ride.

Shrinking to grow has also resulted in immediate benefits for my yoga practice.  Last night, ten pounds lighter now, I was so much more mobile.  I had more energy, more clarity.  I was in control of my breath and took it slowly and easily.  I was a humble, quiet little warrior.  I’ve been practicing Bikram yoga for a lot of years now and I didn’t even own a scale when I started, but this weight loss makes me remember back to the beginning when I felt so good about my yoga.  It’s been a long, hard road.  

My goals as I move forward post-cleanse are to continue to tell the truth, to myself and others, no matter how scary that is; to be mindful and deliberate in making choices for myself...regarding food, relationships, business and life; to continue the “shrink to grow” theme in all areas of my life...including relationships, business, home life and creative pursuits; and to continue to love myself and others as best I can, practicing non-attachment and radical forgiveness every single day.  Namaste.