There’s a quote by Virginia Axline that goes something like, “We are all doing the best that we can, and when we can do better, we will.” This quote has been on my mind in my yoga classes a lot lately and it seems to fit so many situations that are occurring with me and around me.
In late summer, a favorite instructor returned to our studio and with her came a special energy that is unlike any other I’ve experienced in my six year practice. Kristen isn't afraid to put her hands on people, to connect with her students in service of
deepening their practice. In our “hands off” culture, this strikes me as both an intensely brave and incredibly loving gesture on her part. The first time Kristen touched me in practice was during her final class before moving to New Mexico a few years ago. During the belly-down series, we rest between postures face-down on our mats. Kristen went around the room and used her toes to massage a number of students’ toes as they rested. I was filled with such an intense feeling of being loved and honored unconditionally as a human being that I was almost brought to tears....and I never forgot the feeling.
Occasionally, Kristen would return to Maine to visit family and friends and she’d pop in at our studio to teach a class. I’m sure I’m not the only one who looked forward to her visits and rescheduled life events to try and be there for her class. It’s so rare, these days, to be able to connect with other human beings on a safe, physical level. Who would’ve thought I’d find such a loving kindness in the hot yoga room?
I’ve been practicing Bikram yoga for quite a few years now, and I’ve seen many instructors come and go. We are all individuals and benefit from different teaching styles, but I have always gravitated toward those teachers who push with love....who seem to realize we are all doing the best that we can. No judgments, no shame...only encouragement and technical advice to make our bodies and minds tune in. It’s been helpful to remind myself that my instructors, too, are doing the best that they can....and that when they can do better, they will. Clearly, there have been times when I’ve noticed that a teacher is not at his or her best...seeming worn out, frustrated, irritated. We are all human beings, after all. Life is not easy for any of us.
Another of my favorite instructors counsels us often, "Don't let anyone (or anything) steal your peace." He's referring to the
distractions that undoubtedly follow one into the studio...and the distractions that sometimes set up their yoga mats beside or behind you. Sometimes, though, that advice also applies to the instructor that is teaching the class. There have been times lately when my frustration with a teacher has threatened to derail my practice and it’s been hard to remain in the room. That’s got to be one of the worst feelings for me. I’ve gotten myself to this very hot studio to practice a very difficult form of yoga. I’m doing the best that I can and feel like everyone else in the room is a rock star, too, just for showing up and TRYING. Patience goes both ways, I suppose.
That’s one of the reasons I appreciate Kristen’s approach to our practice so much. I completely resonate with her energy. She’s a tough teacher and doesn’t let anyone off the hook....but there is an underlying thread of loving kindness and unconditional positive regard that leaves us all feeling good about ourselves and whatever effort we put forth on that particular day. No judgments, no shame. And she gets herself around the room to physically connect with as many of us as she can, offering a gentle adjustment to a shoulder, a push on the lower back, a
lifting of the legs just to show someone what it would feel like to “get there” on her own, or a gentle toe massage just when you need it most. Every single person in the room is sweaty, stinky, tired and often pushed to our limits. That our instructor offers a kind, safe touch at that particular time....when we are often at our worst...is particularly amazing.
I am ever-grateful for having found Bikram yoga, and feel incredibly fortunate that though we have just a single studio in Maine, it’s right here in my own community. And I feel so blessed to have been touched by Kristen and other instructors like her, who seem to know instinctively that we all need unconditional love and that human touch can be safe and healing. Namaste.
