The best thing about a 30 day challenge (in this case, a challenge to take a Bikram hot yoga class every day for 30 consecutive days) is the elimination of excuses. Because you have committed to it, excuses are no longer an option. It doesn’t matter if you have concert tickets, a headache or a death in the family. You’ve decided that no matter what, for thirty days in a row, you will park your ass on your mat and complete a 90-minute class. A friend commented just this morning, "Your commitment to yoga amazes me... I've never committed to anything on a daily/weekly/lifelong basis like that!" It's either amazing or crazy, but the truth is this: committing your whole self to something makes all the difference. And this: once you get into something, it's never as scary/awful/difficult as it seemed at the outset.
I am 20 days in. I have a sore right knee and my hamstrings and lower back are speaking to me in a very loud voice strewn with expletives. I’m in the middle of a charity project involving single-handedly (well...I can actually use BOTH hands) baking 110 pounds of dog biscuits. And I work 50+ hours a week besides. But...something magical has been happening despite all of this.
Because I’ve taken away the option of creating excuses to get myself out of going to yoga, because I know I am going no matter what, life seems simpler...quieter...less complicated. I’ve got things pared down to the very basics: work, yoga, eat and sleep. Work hard...because I’ve got to fit everything in. Practice sensibly...because I cannot afford to injure myself or cause my body to hurt more during class. Eat healthily...because I’ve got to fuel the machine that is my life. And sleep every possible moment I can! This has become my daily round for the last 20 days.
So...why commit to 30 days of Bikram yoga classes in the first place, right? Good question....and unfortunately I cannot for the life of me come up with a stellar answer, not even for myself! In early January, I went to Mexico for a yoga retreat which opened me up to all sorts of new thoughts and feelings, about myself, this yoga and the nature of commitment and challenge. Unbeknownst to me when I signed up for the retreat, many of the U.S. and world yoga champions were there, along with their coach (a world class former champion herself) who was running it, and many amazing Bikram studio owners and teachers from around the world. Talk about feeling inadequate and humbled! Even though I’ve been practicing Bikram yoga for nearly ten years, I felt and looked very much like a beginner and a novice. Each morning, I’d set up my mat in the very back of the room and do my best to keep up with not just the standard 90-minute class done in a room heated to 105 degrees, but to hang in there as the class stretched to nearly four hours on some mornings, only to be followed by a couple of two-hour “homework” sessions as day stretched into night. One day, we did 33 backbends and who knows how many handstands during one of these sessions. On one hand, I wanted to cry...a lot. On the other hand, I was in a room with many of the best yoga practitioners on the planet and it was simply beautiful to watch them effortlessly move as one into and out of postures that are ridiculously difficult. I couldn’t help but stand in awe of their commitment and dedication to something they deeply love.
I got home late on a Saturday night and returned to my local Bikram studio early the next morning for class number one of thirty. It just felt right. There was no hesitation about making this commitment to my practice. I didn’t check my calendar to see what might get in the way. I didn’t really know how I was going to make it work. I just did it...as an act of self-love and yoga-love. I did it because all the way home from Mexico, I kept wondering, “what would my yoga be like if I really committed to it in a serious way?” Now, 20 days into this 30 day commitment, I can tell you that my yoga is more powerful, my demeanor and mental state is incredibly calm during class and my focus is intense. The first seven to 10 days, I thought I wasn’t going to make it. Bikram yoga isn’t easy...not even if you’ve done the class hundreds of times. And doing a class every single day sort of takes up your whole life because you’ve got to pay attention to what you eat and drink and when, when to rest and how much, and how your body is responding to all that stretching and strengthening. Add to that a little tweak of your knee and you realize how careful you need to be with your body in class as well. My tender knee has kept my attention focused on self-care in class, on not working too hard at my own expense. Sometimes, doing less is necessary in order to stay in the game for the long haul. That’s been a very challenging practice for me, as I like to give it 100% effort all the time.
Making this commitment to myself and to this yoga that I love with my whole being has been incredible in so many ways. I feel clean inside and out. I feel strong and focused. Some of my postures are looking beautiful. Others are still a challenge and that’s a beautiful thing, too. What I’ve learned through honoring this commitment is that we really don’t know what we are capable of until we have tried. I like to do hard things. I like to learn lessons about myself by placing myself into challenging, new situations. My week with the super yogis in Mexico opened me up, caused me to realize I could take my own personal yoga to a whole new place and inspired me to try harder and to honor myself through commitment to something I love. It’s a beautiful thing. I am grateful to Mary, who was my teacher in Mexico, for loving me just as I am yet encouraging me to be the best "me" that I can be. I am grateful for experiences that humble me. Namaste.
